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blame no more

*Friday Love Note* and blame no more –

Blame is not useful.

In my Survive and Thrive group for single moms, blame comes up a lot.

It’s his fault.

I’m afraid it’s my fault.

It’s 60/40 fault.

We feel so many negative emotions and we want to find a place to direct them.  Find the cause and throw those negative emotions at the cause.

This is not useful for anyone.

If he is to blame, then you feel anger and resentment and try to throw those negative emotions at him.

If you are to blame, then you will sit in self-hatred, hopelessness, and misery.

Do you notice that neither one of these situations benefits anyone?

Neither one helps you to progress.

Neither one speaks to love.

Neither one moves you toward a better future.

What if no one is to blame?

What if things just happened?  What if everyone made mistakes and everyone has faults.

What if regardless of what happened, this is just where you are?

Really think about how this would feel.

What if you can let go of the need to point the finger, and instead direct your brain to the future and what’s next?

It’s the difference between being stuck in the past, and looking forward to the future with solutions, hope, and progress.

Let’s move forward, shall we?

Have an amazing weekend – you deserve it <3

Xo

– Molly Claire