Single Mom

Yesterday my son told me I’m resilient.

“Really?” I asked.

I don’t feel very resilient.

I often feel like a wimp.

And I get emotional about things.

And I feel like I don’t always handle life very well.

Can you relate?

He told me that’s not true. He said I’m tough and resilient.

And you know what, he’s right.

I’m resilient and so are you.

Just because we don’t feel on top of life all of the time – doesn’t mean we aren’t handling it really well.

My marriage, my divorce, and my single mom phase helped me grow into a stronger person.

Listen up – you’re pretty tough. You are resilient. You are strong.

You are nothing short of amazing.

Have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

Deep Regret

Do you ever feel deep regret about your past marriage?

Regret about what you did or didn’t do?

Regret about not being able to make it work?

Regret about a million and one things and the fear that it’s impacted your kids?

I totally get it.

Last week I had some of that deep regret come to the surface again. I’ve been worried about my kids for so many reasons. And I fear that their problems are all my fault.

If only I would have. If only I could have. If only I could go back in time 10 years, 15 years or 20 years and do that one thing different. It felt so heavy.

I know you feel this way too sometimes.

I’m still working to reconcile some of my regret and I’m allowing myself plenty of space to do it.

In the meantime, I’m reminding myself of a few things.

In every moment along the way, most of us do the best we can with where we are.

Sometimes our best, doesn’t look that great – and that’s okay.

My kid’s ability to achieve success and happiness in life is dependent on them – not me.

Our human weaknesses are supposed to be there, they are not a mistake.

I hope you can see the best in yourself in the past, and the best in yourself today.

I hope you can see the best in your future too.

Have a beautiful weekend- you deserve it!

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teen trouble

I love my teenagers. And all the teenagers that come and go at my house.

A lot of people don’t feel that way about teens, I know.

It’s hard when they do all the teenager things we don’t think they should be doing.

Really hard.

But the only thing that gets in the way of love (and loving teenagers) is fear.
Fear is always what keeps us from love.

Do you feel afraid that your teen is going to make huge mistakes?
Do you worry that you haven’t done enough to protect them?
Or that you’re not doing enough now?

This fear and worry drives us to tighten the reigns too tight and listen to every fearful thought our brain is offering us.

The truth is, they will make mistakes.

You can’t really protect them from life.

And maybe you can always do more… but perhaps you’re not supposed to.

Let’s love our kids when they lie and when they break the rules and when they get in big trouble.

Let’s love ourselves by offering ourselves grace (after all we are trying to figure this out).

Walk that line between rules and freedom and do it all with love. Love is more powerful than any of us realize.

Have an amazing Friday – you deserve it.

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I miss my kids

My kids are spending time with their dad for 6 weeks and I really miss them.

When I have them all the time, I wish I could have a break.

I want them with me.
And I want a break.

And the grass… always seems greener on the other side of the fence.

Can you relate?

What is this phenomenon we experience of always thinking things will be better if they are different than they are now?

Even though I feel it sometimes, I know it’s not really true.

What if today you can enjoy exactly what’s in front of you for what it is?

What if feeling better or happier or more successful isn’t out there?

What if it’s inside of you? What if it’s available in this very moment?

Hug your kids if they are with you.

Enjoy the silence if they aren’t.
Enjoy your independence.

Laugh about that not-so-great date.

Wherever you are – breathe it in, rather than wish it away.

Sending you love and wishes for a beautiful weekend- you deserve it!

Understanding

Do you ever wish someone understood how you were feeling?

I know that feeling…

Lately I’ve been feeling like an anomaly.

Like my experience and challenges and hurts are so different from everyone else. I find myself trying to find someone who understands.

I know you’ve felt that way too.

Maybe for you your marriage was hard, and you were relieved to have it end.

Maybe your marriage was amazing, and you felt heartbroken and betrayed when it was over.

Maybe you feel like a failure.

Maybe you feel judged.

Maybe you feel hopeless or alone.

Maybe you feel a lot of things and you seem to be so different from everyone else.

Can you relate?

This is always the time that I remind myself of one of my core beliefs – God understands. At the deepest level, he knows exactly what I’m feeling. He cares that I feel that way.

God knows you.

He understands how you feel.

Even if no one else does – he gets it.

Have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it.