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Lesson Learned

It’s time for your *Friday Love Note* , because you deserve it.

I used to think I was “less than” a lot of people.

I used to put some people above me as if they deserved more.

They were smarter or deserved more money.

They were more likeable. They were better than me.

I don’t feel that way anymore.

I’ve been in a 3 year period of hyper-growth personally. I’ve been becoming a new person who is more of everything she wants to be.

And it’s possible for you too.

Coming out of a bad marriage or a bitter divorce can leave you questioning everything.

And this, Is good news.

When you question everything, you get to decide everything.

You get to decide who you are and what you’re worth.

You get to determine the level of success in your life that you can achieve.

You’re the one who creates your life based on your own self-worth and belief in what’s possible.

Yes, you.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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The “Ideal”

*Friday Love Note* and the “ideal” –

We hear all the time about how to cope when your family isn’t the ideal.

I’m not coping. And I am the ideal. My current ideal that is.

It seems like such a nice and compassionate approach, but when I think about “coping because I’m less than ideal.” I feel immense sadness at the very thought.

I start to believe that my life really is sad. And that something really is wrong with my home situation of me and three amazing kids. I feel like we are lacking.

I don’t believe that’s true.

What I do believe…

Is that with God, we are never lacking. We can have desires to add to our current situation, but to feel our life has a void is painful.

And that my family is the ideal right now. It’s not what I had envisioned, but it’s where I am and where we are. And so of course, it’s exactly as it should be right now.

And finally, I’m loving rather than “coping.” Coping implies that I’m so broken. Yes, some days feel that way, but it doesn’t define my life. I’m growing within these circumstances and loving all of the best parts of them. Coping is a part of it, but it’s not the big picture.

These are some of the most powerful beliefs I have. They sustain me and move me forward. They allow me to trust in the process of life and love what’s good.

Take good care of yourself.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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Divorced on Facebook

Hey Mamas – here is your *Friday Love Note*

I’ve got a picture for you here today at the bottom of this email.  It’s when Facebook forgot I was divorced.

Last Saturday, Facebook reminded me that it was my anniversary.

They thought I’d like to share my post from 5 years ago.

It was a picture of my wedding with the caption, “12 years… looking forward to MANY more.”

Oops. Not so much.

Because of where I am in the process, I laughed.

I sent a screen shot to my sister and said, “Ooops. We tried.”

But of course, I didn’t always laugh.

For a long time I couldn’t. Instead I would have a pit in my stomach for the failure that it represented. I would feel intense sadness and regret that our family didn’t work.

But this time, I could see it as a nice time in my life.

I looked at my 21-year old face – full of hope and happiness. I didn’t feel sad for her anymore. I didn’t feel like she had lost everything she once wanted. Because I realized, that I have that same hope and happiness now.

Life will always throw us curve balls. A lot of them. To believe that it won’t, is to believe a lie.

It’s moments like that when we can laugh, and see how far we’ve come, and enjoy the win that make it great.

We can appreciate the good and the fun and the relationships. It will never be perfect, but the good moments are there.

If you’re not there now, just know that you can get there.

The intense negative emotions that you’re feeling now – won’t last forever. For today, just try to notice one great thing about your day. And think about one great thing that may be in your future.

Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but there is a lot of sunshine and quite a few roses. Enjoy them when you can.

Each minute.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

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I don’t believe in second chances

It’s *Think it Thursday* and I don’t believe in second chances…

At least I don’t believe it ends there.

You may have set a goal for 2018. And you may already feel that you’re failing.

Or the fear that you will fail might be lingering in the back of your mind.

That doubt and fear, is the worst. And when we fear we won’t make it, we usually don’t.

It’s not so much the fear of failing this time that’s the issue. It’s the fear that we’ll never succeed at all.

Imagine for a minute…

Think about a lofty goal that you have.

What if you knew, without a doubt, that you’d achieve it.

What if a crystal ball revealed it, and you knew it would happen.

How much different would your experience of failure be then?

If you overate today, you wouldn’t stay stuck in defeat. You would know it was just a set back and you’d keep going.

If you yelled at your kids (again), you could assure yourself that you would get better and to keep trying.

If you went over budget because you forgot to account for that one thing- it wouldn’t be the end of the world. You would know you were learning. And for sure, you would get there.

Where are you falling short of your expectations and what would be different if you knew you would get there? How can you instill that hope and willingness to persevere?

The magic of becoming better is that you always get more than just a second chance. You have a lifetime to get there.

Commit.

Don’t quit.

And you’ll get there.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!
-Molly Claire

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Single Mom: Easier or not?

It’s time for your *Friday Love Note,* because you deserve it.

This week there were conflicting comments on my facebook link.
Is it easier to be a single mom?  Or harder?
Two women were in total disagreement.

So, who was right?  
The answer – can be found in my client’s stories.

Sarah feels that life as a single mom is so much better.  Her marriage was a huge weight.  She felt like she was alone in her marriage pretty much from the beginning.  She feels so much relief.  And now, even with it’s challenges – it’s just a matter of creating a great future.

Jessica – had a totally different experience.  Her marriage was great!  Until it wasn’t.  She had so many years of happiness and connection.  They had a great life together and now, she feels the void. For her, she’s working to create balance and happiness again.  One day at a time.

Neither is right, and neither is wrong.  Everyone has a story, and where you are is exactly where you should be.

For today, take a moment to remind yourself that wherever you are – is perfect.

Whatever is hard for you today – won’t always be hard. 
You’ll figure it out – you always do.

Look at how far you’ve come.
Think about the best parts of your life.
Imagine the brightness of your future. 

Yes, let your mind go there.

Have a great weekend, one thought at a time!
And take amazing care of yourself…

XO

-Molly Claire