German

My son is in Germany right now on an orchestra trip.

He keeps sending me messages in German.

He’s sending me pictures of food and his smiling face.

It feels like he’s growing and going his own way and I can’t believe it.

I started to go down the road of – have I taught him everything I should?

Did I let the years slip away while I was distracted with life?

Should I have been more patient?

And then I remembered… I don’t want to go down that road in my brain.

I’ve taught him a lot of things. I’ve been present a lot of the time. I’ve loved him and had days where I was totally patient. Those are the things I’m going to focus on.

What about you? What parenting moments do you focus on? What you focus on grows. Focus on the amazing – it’s so much more fun.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

money

Yesterday on the podcast I talked about money.

Money fears.

Money beliefs.

Self-beliefs… related to money.

I remember when I was going through my divorce and my master coach training at the same time. My own beliefs about money were revealed to me and I didn’t like what I found. In fact, I became determined to believe something different…

At the time I was terrified at what would happen in my financial life. I had met with an attorney and her news about Texas law seemed bleak. I felt afraid that I wouldn’t be able to support my kids. I worried that I would be reliving my mom’s life as a single mom who was overworked and could barely put food on the table. I grew up watching her worry and fear every single day about money.

Once a month she would sit at her desk in this little nook at the top of our narrow staircase. We lived in a tiny duplex and I would sit right next to her while she worked – just grateful that she was home with us for once. She would write a tithing check first and put it on the corner of the desk and then work on paying the rest of the bills. There was never enough to cover them and she would always say, “we’re in the hole again” which was never a surprise to us.

Fear. Worry. Watching my mom bear it all, was a lot to handle.

And here I was, wondering if I was about to be in the same predicament.

I came to my master coach training call and was getting coaching from my peers and mentor/teacher, Brooke Castillo. Brooke asked me, “Why can’t you make as much money as your husband does?”

My answer, made me sick to my stomach as soon as it came out of my mouth. “Because I’m a woman.”

Yes. I said it. And I knew I believed it.

How could I think that? I didn’t want to own that thought.

And I decided that I didn’t want to believe that was true.

I knew that plenty of other women made a lot of money, so it had to be possible. And I knew that I wanted to believe I was capable too.

I didn’t adopt this new belief overnight, but I became relentless in my pursuit of believing that I could believe this at some point. I kept pushing the limit of what I believed was possible. I knew that even though I didn’t believe entirely today, I would believe a little more than yesterday.

What do you believe about your ability to make money?

Are you happy with that belief?

If not, are you willing to decide to believe something different?

What you believe is what you will create. Believe something awesome, okay?

You’re amazing.

Have a beautiful weekend- you deserve it.

escape

Lately I’ve been wanting to escape being a mom.

Like literally thinking about fleeing the country and never looking back.

It seems like such a selfish and shameful thought. A thought I didn’t want to say out loud, but I did it anyway. And when I said it out loud I felt so much relief.

The only reason I feel this way – is because I care so much about them. And I want to do a good job. I create pressure. I don’t believe I’m measuring up. And… I want to flee the country.

Sometimes my clients feel this way too… and they feel guilty about it.

They think they shouldn’t want to escape. They think they should be a better mom.

They have a book of rules about what being a good mom and a good person looks like, and there is no room for being human or having thoughts that don’t seem “good” and “positive.”

I think the rule book is wrong.

Being an amazing mom includes having all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

Loving your kids means feeling negative emotions too.

And being the perfect mom for your kids, means being you with all of your humanness – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the deal and it’s exactly as it should be.

Be amazing today. Have compassion when you’re feeling burned out. Trust that you’re doing better than you think. And please take an extra break for me, will you?

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

,

35 years ago

This mug pictured here was a gift from my mom on Valentine’s day when I was 5. I woke up to this mug full of candy, but my mom was already gone… at work before the sun was up.

I’m pretty sure she worried she wasn’t doing enough as a mom. As a single mom she was stretched thin, worn out, and worried about her kids. Just like you and me – I’m guessing she worried about failing as a mom.

Yesterday, 35 years later, I was drinking from it – still feeling of her love and thoughtfulness. Grateful for the person she was, not just what she did. Grateful for her unconditional love, even though sometimes she was short on patience or just didn’t have extra time to spend with me.

Her presence in my life has been an unbelievable foundation for me, and continues to be even now that she has been gone for almost 2 decades.

I know you wonder sometimes if you’re doing enough. You worry how your kids will turn out. You’re often riddled with worry and guilt.

And today I want to suggest that you stop.
For just a minute.
Stop and breathe.

Love your kids.
Be kind to yourself so they will know how to be kind to themselves too.
Give yourself a break.
Take a minute to enjoy.
Just be in their life. That’s all they need.

Have an amazing weekend, you deserve it!

,

it’s hard

This week my son told me, “life really sucks right now.”

And sometimes, it does.

In our new neighborhood he has no friends, school seems to be the worst, and he really misses his dad too. He’s told me that he doesn’t think he has anything to look forward to.

And I know just how he feels.

Sometimes, life feels kind of awful. Sometimes we are in a waiting phase, in limbo, experiencing really hard emotions.

And sometimes, you don’t really want to be cheered up either.

I know you feel this way too sometimes.

If you’re reading this and you’re feeling the same way he is, I just want you to know – that I understand. I’m sorry that it’s hard right now.

I know how hard emotions like sadness, grief, and devastation are.

I know you want them to go away, and you wonder if they ever will.

I’m here for you and I get it.

I hope you can be there for yourself too. I hope that when you’re sad, you give yourself a tissue and tell yourself it’s okay. I hope that no matter what you’re feeling, you don’t treat yourself like anything less than amazing. I hope you can have patience while you’re in this place. And maybe remind yourself that it won’t always be this way.

I promise that’s true.

Sending you love.

P.S. Last Chance to join the 5 Day Reclaim Your Life Challenge for Single Moms. Click here to join

-Molly