,

The “Ideal”

*Friday Love Note* and the “ideal” –

We hear all the time about how to cope when your family isn’t the ideal.

I’m not coping. And I am the ideal. My current ideal that is.

It seems like such a nice and compassionate approach, but when I think about “coping because I’m less than ideal.” I feel immense sadness at the very thought.

I start to believe that my life really is sad. And that something really is wrong with my home situation of me and three amazing kids. I feel like we are lacking.

I don’t believe that’s true.

What I do believe…

Is that with God, we are never lacking. We can have desires to add to our current situation, but to feel our life has a void is painful.

And that my family is the ideal right now. It’s not what I had envisioned, but it’s where I am and where we are. And so of course, it’s exactly as it should be right now.

And finally, I’m loving rather than “coping.” Coping implies that I’m so broken. Yes, some days feel that way, but it doesn’t define my life. I’m growing within these circumstances and loving all of the best parts of them. Coping is a part of it, but it’s not the big picture.

These are some of the most powerful beliefs I have. They sustain me and move me forward. They allow me to trust in the process of life and love what’s good.

Take good care of yourself.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

,

Divorced on Facebook

Hey Mamas – here is your *Friday Love Note*

I’ve got a picture for you here today at the bottom of this email.  It’s when Facebook forgot I was divorced.

Last Saturday, Facebook reminded me that it was my anniversary.

They thought I’d like to share my post from 5 years ago.

It was a picture of my wedding with the caption, “12 years… looking forward to MANY more.”

Oops. Not so much.

Because of where I am in the process, I laughed.

I sent a screen shot to my sister and said, “Ooops. We tried.”

But of course, I didn’t always laugh.

For a long time I couldn’t. Instead I would have a pit in my stomach for the failure that it represented. I would feel intense sadness and regret that our family didn’t work.

But this time, I could see it as a nice time in my life.

I looked at my 21-year old face – full of hope and happiness. I didn’t feel sad for her anymore. I didn’t feel like she had lost everything she once wanted. Because I realized, that I have that same hope and happiness now.

Life will always throw us curve balls. A lot of them. To believe that it won’t, is to believe a lie.

It’s moments like that when we can laugh, and see how far we’ve come, and enjoy the win that make it great.

We can appreciate the good and the fun and the relationships. It will never be perfect, but the good moments are there.

If you’re not there now, just know that you can get there.

The intense negative emotions that you’re feeling now – won’t last forever. For today, just try to notice one great thing about your day. And think about one great thing that may be in your future.

Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but there is a lot of sunshine and quite a few roses. Enjoy them when you can.

Each minute.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

, , ,

I don’t believe in second chances

It’s *Think it Thursday* and I don’t believe in second chances…

At least I don’t believe it ends there.

You may have set a goal for 2018. And you may already feel that you’re failing.

Or the fear that you will fail might be lingering in the back of your mind.

That doubt and fear, is the worst. And when we fear we won’t make it, we usually don’t.

It’s not so much the fear of failing this time that’s the issue. It’s the fear that we’ll never succeed at all.

Imagine for a minute…

Think about a lofty goal that you have.

What if you knew, without a doubt, that you’d achieve it.

What if a crystal ball revealed it, and you knew it would happen.

How much different would your experience of failure be then?

If you overate today, you wouldn’t stay stuck in defeat. You would know it was just a set back and you’d keep going.

If you yelled at your kids (again), you could assure yourself that you would get better and to keep trying.

If you went over budget because you forgot to account for that one thing- it wouldn’t be the end of the world. You would know you were learning. And for sure, you would get there.

Where are you falling short of your expectations and what would be different if you knew you would get there? How can you instill that hope and willingness to persevere?

The magic of becoming better is that you always get more than just a second chance. You have a lifetime to get there.

Commit.

Don’t quit.

And you’ll get there.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!
-Molly Claire

,

Single Mom: Easier or not?

It’s time for your *Friday Love Note,* because you deserve it.

This week there were conflicting comments on my facebook link.
Is it easier to be a single mom?  Or harder?
Two women were in total disagreement.

So, who was right?  
The answer – can be found in my client’s stories.

Sarah feels that life as a single mom is so much better.  Her marriage was a huge weight.  She felt like she was alone in her marriage pretty much from the beginning.  She feels so much relief.  And now, even with it’s challenges – it’s just a matter of creating a great future.

Jessica – had a totally different experience.  Her marriage was great!  Until it wasn’t.  She had so many years of happiness and connection.  They had a great life together and now, she feels the void. For her, she’s working to create balance and happiness again.  One day at a time.

Neither is right, and neither is wrong.  Everyone has a story, and where you are is exactly where you should be.

For today, take a moment to remind yourself that wherever you are – is perfect.

Whatever is hard for you today – won’t always be hard. 
You’ll figure it out – you always do.

Look at how far you’ve come.
Think about the best parts of your life.
Imagine the brightness of your future. 

Yes, let your mind go there.

Have a great weekend, one thought at a time!
And take amazing care of yourself…

XO

-Molly Claire

Single Mom and Christmas Alone

It’s Christmas morning and I just had a picture of my little girl come through on my phone.  She’s in Christmas PJs that I didn’t get for her.  Her eyes are lit up with excitement, from gifts I didn’t put under the tree.

You know what it’s like.  And you never imagined this would be your experience of Christmas.

I’m writing to you this morning because I’m thinking about you.  I’ve spent the last several weeks focusing on being intentional with my thoughts around Christmas and what I’m choosing to create with my kids.  It would have been so easy for me to stay stuck in a pity party, but if there’s one thing I’ve realized it’s that a pity party is the worst party ever.

A pity party, is a party of one.

You’re the only one there.

And anyone who drops by, wants to leave immediately.

You do terrible things at the party like obsess over everything that’s wrong.  You serve regret and hopelessness for refreshments.

The party, is not a party at all.

And I don’t recommend it.

If you’re feeling sad today – it’s totally normal – and I’m feeling some of it too.

The waves will come and go, and that’s okay.

But know this also – you don’t have take up residence in that state of sadness.

I know it’s hard when the negative emotions are so strong.

I know it’s hard to believe that they will ever go away.

I know it seems that they are defining your life, and that they’ll define your future.

But that is never true.

Here is my message to you:

The emotions will come and go, and you can handle all of them.

They don’t need to overtake you or your life.

And they don’t have to mean anything about what’s possible for you.

Today, whatever you’re feeling – allow it to be okay without making it mean that you “are” that emotion.

It’s the difference between, “I’m feeling sadness” and giving in to “I am sad.”

It’s acknowledging, “I’m feeling some hopelessness,” instead of “I have no hope.”

Or choosing, “I’m feeling some fear about my future,” rather than “I’m afraid of my future.”

It’s a small shift, but an important one.

You are going to be okay, I promise you that. 

There is so much hope and healing available.

If there’s one day in the year we know that to be true – it’s today.

Merry Christmas Mama.  You’ve got this.

Your future is amazing and so are you.

Sending so much love.

xoxo

-Molly Claire