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I usually have trash in my car…

Hey Mamas! It’s *Think it Thursday* and I usually have trash in my car…

Last week a new client came to me wondering, “how is everyone else doing it?”
(referring to motherhood and life.)
Do you ever wonder that too?

Everyone else seems to be holding it together.

A clean house.
A balanced meal on the table at night.
Homework help.
Staying in shape.
Happy kids.
Booming career.
How is everyone else doing this?

The truth is that everyone is doing great at some things, okay at others, and some things – they aren’t doing at all. And maybe that’s okay.

One of the things my friend Sherry loves about me is that every time she gets in my car I say, “don’t let any trash fall out.”
And we laugh.

Because it’s true – there’s trash in my car.

My kid’s granola bar wrappers, school papers, empty water bottles… they are everywhere most of the time. I’m not good at asking them to clear stuff out. Sometimes I’m rushing or scatter-brained. And sometimes I just don’t spend the energy worrying about it.

I used to feel embarrassed, but I don’t any more. I’m doing my best and that has to be enough.

I’m doing great at some things.
Getting by when it comes to others.
And some things, are just not happening in my life.

I can still choose to have my own back.
And so can you.

Notice what’s going great.
Do your best to improve.
Let some things go.

Love yourself no matter what.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

xo
-Molly Claire

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blame no more

*Friday Love Note* and blame no more –

Blame is not useful.

In my Survive and Thrive group for single moms, blame comes up a lot.

It’s his fault.

I’m afraid it’s my fault.

It’s 60/40 fault.

We feel so many negative emotions and we want to find a place to direct them.  Find the cause and throw those negative emotions at the cause.

This is not useful for anyone.

If he is to blame, then you feel anger and resentment and try to throw those negative emotions at him.

If you are to blame, then you will sit in self-hatred, hopelessness, and misery.

Do you notice that neither one of these situations benefits anyone?

Neither one helps you to progress.

Neither one speaks to love.

Neither one moves you toward a better future.

What if no one is to blame?

What if things just happened?  What if everyone made mistakes and everyone has faults.

What if regardless of what happened, this is just where you are?

Really think about how this would feel.

What if you can let go of the need to point the finger, and instead direct your brain to the future and what’s next?

It’s the difference between being stuck in the past, and looking forward to the future with solutions, hope, and progress.

Let’s move forward, shall we?

Have an amazing weekend – you deserve it <3

Xo

– Molly Claire

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the secret to more energy

It’s *Think it Thursday* and I’m sharing with you the secret to more energy.

I’m teaching you something today that is my lifeline.

Some of you know I have chronic fatigue and it’s a constant challenge.

But this concept I’m telling you about, is a game changer.

Because we all get exhausted and worn out, especially as a mom.

My secret – energy management.

We hear a lot about time management, but the truth is that if you had more energy, you would make much better use of your time, right?

You can’t create more hours in the day, but you can create more energy.

There are certain things you do that energize you – maybe it’s alone time, maybe it’s social time.  Maybe it’s laughing or creating.  Take a minute to notice what energizes you.

There are other things that require more mental and emotional energy.  Leading kids in chores, balancing the budget, or sifting through your schedule for the week… stack these up and it could leave you spent, exhausted, with nothing left to give.

The key is to plan and manage your activities based on how they impact your energy.  The right combination is all the difference.

Think about this.  Time is finite.  There are 24 hour every day, period.

Energy is fluid.  You can manage your energy by building in plenty of activities that increase your energy, amongst those that drain it.

So today, here is your assignment:

List energizing and energy-depleting activities.  Plan them in to support you having sustained energy.  Revisit this idea often and just notice how you have the ability to manage your energy.

Magic.

Have a great day – one thought at a time!

Xoxo

-Molly Claire

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the best years of my life

*Friday Love Note* and the best years of my life –

It’s easy to think you wasted too many years in a bad marriage.

Or that you’re starting over when it’s “too late.”

A decade. 2 decades. More.

I refuse to believe that it’s too late for me.

I refuse to believe that one day spent in my marriage was a waste.

I know with certainty that it’s not too late for you, and your marriage – was never a waste.

Every day and ever year, made you who you are.

Your marriage was work, growth, and learning.

It was a part of your process of becoming.
What if the best years of your life are ahead? What if everything up to this point was preparing you for something even better? Really think about it – what if that’s true?

It’s not too late.

Nothing was wasted.

So much is possible.

Can you see it?

Have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

Xo
– Molly

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Lesson Learned

It’s time for your *Friday Love Note* , because you deserve it.

I used to think I was “less than” a lot of people.

I used to put some people above me as if they deserved more.

They were smarter or deserved more money.

They were more likeable. They were better than me.

I don’t feel that way anymore.

I’ve been in a 3 year period of hyper-growth personally. I’ve been becoming a new person who is more of everything she wants to be.

And it’s possible for you too.

Coming out of a bad marriage or a bitter divorce can leave you questioning everything.

And this, Is good news.

When you question everything, you get to decide everything.

You get to decide who you are and what you’re worth.

You get to determine the level of success in your life that you can achieve.

You’re the one who creates your life based on your own self-worth and belief in what’s possible.

Yes, you.

Have an amazing weekend, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire