Overwhelmed, Worried, Confused. Let’s have cake, Mom.

mom life

When we think about indulging, we usually think about cake or chocolate.  We want to enjoy something in the moment, even if we know it’s not best in the long term.

We usually tell ourselves we are being nice to ourselves when we indulge.

Sometimes we are.  And sometimes we aren’t.

Did you know we indulge in emotions too?

Jessica is indulging in the emotion of overwhelm.

She has some decisions in her life that she is afraid to make.  She believes these decisions will hurt others.  Instead of making a decision, she tells herself, “I don’t know what to do,” which creates a lot of overwhelm for her.

She indulges in this emotion, which keeps her from actually making a decision.  “I don’t know” and overwhelm keep her “safe” from having to make a decision.

Overwhelm is much easier than fear.  Choosing overwhelm helps her in the moment, but it isn’t helping her in the long term.

Sometimes it’s easier to stay in a space of overwhelm and “I don’t know,” than it is to face what’s true.  

Just like it’s always easy to enjoy a slice of double-fudge cake.

Do you indulge in worry?

Do you indulge in confusion?

Do you indulge in overwhelm?

If any one of these are a big part of your life, then think for a minute.

Why are you choosing to indulge in that emotion? What is it keeping you safe from?  And is it best for you in the long term?

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

-Molly Claire

Mompreneur, Life Change Agent

Embracing discomfort with life changes

life changes

Letting go of something that’s been a part of our lives for a long time is hard.  But going through major life changes requires it.

We resist letting go of what’s been our “normal.”

We fear the unknown that lies ahead.

Even when it’s for the best and great things are yet to come, change is hard.

 

I have a few clients going through major (and minor) life changes right now who are experiencing this phenomenon.

Sarah is beginning the process of divorce.  She is ready, and yet she’s not.  She’s confident, and terrified at the same time.

 

Jennifer is going through a major change at work.  After more than 10 years invested in her company, it’s all going to be new and different.  New systems, new rules, new philosophies. She feels a sense of loss.

 

Ellen is letting go of worry.  She has worried her whole life and the constant discomfort she feels is familiar and safe.  As we are working to create new patterns for her that include calmness and mental presence, she finds herself resisting.

 

No matter what life change is happening for you, you may find yourself resisting too.

Just because a change is positive, doesn’t mean it is devoid of resistance and fear.

This very resistance and fear is usually what keeps us from making positive changes in our lives.

For those of you going through a major change – I’m sending you peaceful thoughts of strength and perspective.  The fear, sadness, and resistance you are experiencing is normal.  Allow it to be there as you move forward and embrace the good.

The more we can make peace with those uncomfortable feelings that accompany change, the more we open our lives up to the constant improvement and change that we crave.

 

So for today – embrace a little discomfort.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

with love,

Molly

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress Management and It Happens

stress management

Have you ever noticed how some people catastrophize things?

Well, I catastrophize things too.  

We each have our own things that *seem* like a really big deal to us.  It makes sense in our brain that it’s a big deal… so we believe it.  It’s usually because of what we “make things mean,” but don’t always believe everything you think.  Awareness of what our brain is doing is the best path to better stress management.

I have a few things in particular that I really like to blow out of proportion.

My kids are fighting… this of course means that I’m failing as a mom and they will never have healthy relationships.  Ever.
My house was just clean, and now it’s a mess… naturally this means that no one respects me.

Whether it’s at home, work, or in our relationships, we usually have some “hot button” issues that really get to us.  They trigger thoughts that lead us to a negative place… fast.  We battle with “stress management” rather than allowing what is.

Two little words have been great for me to remember…
It Happens.

These two little words help me reconnect with reality.
It’s much different than “it’s okay,” because maybe I don’t think it’s okay.
It’s not really “who cares?”  because I do care.

It’s more like acknowledging that this is happening.  And sometimes, it happens.  It’s reality.  Anytime we argue with reality, we create tension and frustration.

“It happens,” helps me to acknowledge what is happening and realize that it doesn’t need to “mean” anything if I don’t want it to.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!

with love…

 

 

Reducing Stress… Advice from my five-year-old

reducing stress

We hear a lot about reducing stress, but did you know that worry and stress are optional?

I always like to opt out.

Except when I allow them to creep in.  Which, I do.  More often than I’d like.
But, the truth is – they are just not useful.  Just take it from my five-year-old.

Yesterday our dog was shaking on the way to the vet.
When my five-year-old asked why, I explained to her that she was scared.

My daughter was baffled, “So… she’s shaking???  That doesn’t do any good at all!”
(yes, she’s 5)
She went on, “You know, it’s like worry.  Worrying doesn’t help anything at all.  It just makes you feel worse.”

That pretty much sums it up, right?

So why do we worry?  Why do we allow stress to come up over and over again?

Well, because that’s our default. It’s our pattern.
It seems useful or necessary.
And it doesn’t really feel optional.

Shaking didn’t help our dog.  Worry and stress won’t help us.

What’s happening will happen, whether we worry about it or not.

So when it comes to reducing stress and worry, what do we do?  How do we opt out?
Here is your Quick Tip:

Stay in the present moment. 

When we worry we are skipping ahead to the future.  We allow our brain to go in a million directions and think about everything that is wrong (or could go wrong).
It happens so fast that it’s like a super highway of thoughts…creating worry.

You can slow it down by pulling yourself back into the present moment.  Slow down your thoughts.  Think about what’s right in front of you.

This simple practice will change your world.  I was fortunate to hear from Thomas Sterner last weekend, author of The Practicing Mind, and this is his specialty.  Staying in the present moment preserves our energy and helps us to be the most effective.  I am obsessed with this concept, so don’t be surprised if it comes up a time or two 🙂

So, that’s it.  Take a deep breath.  Notice what and who is right in front of you.  Ask yourself to focus on the present moment. Tell yourself you’ve got this.  And see what changes…

Oh, BTW – I’m bursting with inspiration and insight from my conference last week!  If you’d like to schedule a mini-session to get a little “nugget” of wisdom or help with reducing stress, just Click Here and we’ll chat.

Have a great day, one thought at a time!
Thanks for joining me for Think It Thursday!  Inspiration, Quick Tips and <3 from me to you!

The Worst Party Ever.

Every once in a while we get tempted to have a pity party.

It seems that life is not just raining, but it’s pouring.  Will it ever stop?  How can I handle all of this?  On and on our brain goes.

A pity party seems like exactly what we need.  We want people to know how hard it is.  We want to coddle ourselves a bit and say – “this is really terrible, I know.”

Don’t be fooled by the pity party.  It’s the worst party to be invited to.  Everyone ends up sad and feeling totally powerless. Especially the host.

There is no upside to a pity party.  It’s easy to think that we “deserve” to feel bad for ourselves.  It’s easy to think we are “justified” in being so miserable.

But wait, do we really WANT to feel bad?  Do we really want to find reasons to be miserable?  The tricky thing about a pity party is that it seems like we are being kind to ourselves by having it… as if we are doing ourselves a favor.

But we’re not. Not even a little bit.

When you start to look for evidence that you should be miserable… you will always find it.
When you start to prove to yourself that things are terrible and ask things like, “why me?”  you will always feel worse.
Please cancel this party immediately.  No one ever has a good time.  And it doesn’t make anything better. Ever.

Powerful questions are a great way to let a little light into the dark tunnel of misery.  They peak curiosity in your brain and create inspiration.  Here are a few favorites of mine – take a look and keep them handy.  You never know when you’ll need a reminder that misery is optional.

What can I learn from this?
How will this make me better?
What’s the good news about this situation?
How can I use this experience to help others?

 

If you are stuck in this rut – let’s chat!  My mini-session is the perfect jump start to seeing lie in a new light.  Let’s do it. It’s free.

Have a great day – one thought at a time…

-Molly