Fear of Judgement


  1. Fear of judgement keeps us hiding. Keeps us from showing up.  Creates so much sadness for us when we don’t show up.  For you this may mean that you don’t engage as much, aren’t outgoing? How often do you fear it?  Where in your life do you fear it?  How is that impacting you?
  2. Someone judging you cannot hurt you. Your thoughts create your feelings.  Think about a time when you were certain someone thought something of you and how upset you were about it.  Then you found out you were totally wrong and felt differently.  Wasn’t the judgement, but your thoughts about the judgement.  Right now people are judging you and you don’t even know it – so it’s not impacting you.
  3. Other people’s judgments about you are really about them. They are judging based on their perception and on their experience.  They are also judging you based on their values.  Think about something someone would judge you for that wouldn’t bother me.  Having kids for example.  Can you let people judge you?  They will anyway, so what if you can just decide that it’s okay?
  4. The real issue is how you are judging you.  Write down all the things you believe someone is judging you for.  Not look at that list – is that how you judge yourself?  Maybe not on the surface, but underneath?  I find that is always the case for my clients.

My story.

It was my judgements about me that were the problem – not hers.

I could handle that emotion and come through on the other side okay.

I could learn to have my own back. I could take a closer look at the ways I need to be kinder to myself.

Take the time to think about the questions I proposed today.  Remember that no one else’s judgements about you can actually hurt you.  Only your thoughts about them will hurt you.  And your judgments about you are the real problem.  Are you willing to do your best and allow yourself some grace?  Are you willing to accept that you aren’t perfect and you were never supposed to be?  Notice the conversations you have with yourself and see if they are shutting you down or moving you toward the person you want to be.