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teen trouble

I love my teenagers. And all the teenagers that come and go at my house.

A lot of people don’t feel that way about teens, I know.

It’s hard when they do all the teenager things we don’t think they should be doing.

Really hard.

But the only thing that gets in the way of love (and loving teenagers) is fear.
Fear is always what keeps us from love.

Do you feel afraid that your teen is going to make huge mistakes?
Do you worry that you haven’t done enough to protect them?
Or that you’re not doing enough now?

This fear and worry drives us to tighten the reigns too tight and listen to every fearful thought our brain is offering us.

The truth is, they will make mistakes.

You can’t really protect them from life.

And maybe you can always do more… but perhaps you’re not supposed to.

Let’s love our kids when they lie and when they break the rules and when they get in big trouble.

Let’s love ourselves by offering ourselves grace (after all we are trying to figure this out).

Walk that line between rules and freedom and do it all with love. Love is more powerful than any of us realize.

Have an amazing Friday – you deserve it.

1 year ago

This picture was taken a year ago. I took my kids to Florida on spring break because I was determined to give them amazing experiences, single mom or not.

I refused to believe I couldn’t afford it.
I refused to believe it would be too hard.
I refused to limit what was possible.

So, we loaded up the minivan, took a couple of extra kids along, and packed the cooler with snacks.

I look back now, and I’m so glad I did.

It seems like a lifetime ago and I’m glad we seized the moment.

Things are so different now… like we are almost different people.

In this transition phase of life, things change so rapidly, and personal growth is on hyper speed.

We live in a new state now. My business is twice as big as it was then. I’ve got my ideal business partner. My kids are older, wiser, and stronger than they were then. I’m engaged to an amazing man who I absolutely adore. I’m in love with my life and ecstatic about my future.

How can you seize the day and do something amazing?

What if this phase of life is an opportunity that’s meant to be magical?

What would you do?

Think about it.

Have a beautiful weekend, you deserve it!​

money

Yesterday on the podcast I talked about money.

Money fears.

Money beliefs.

Self-beliefs… related to money.

I remember when I was going through my divorce and my master coach training at the same time. My own beliefs about money were revealed to me and I didn’t like what I found. In fact, I became determined to believe something different…

At the time I was terrified at what would happen in my financial life. I had met with an attorney and her news about Texas law seemed bleak. I felt afraid that I wouldn’t be able to support my kids. I worried that I would be reliving my mom’s life as a single mom who was overworked and could barely put food on the table. I grew up watching her worry and fear every single day about money.

Once a month she would sit at her desk in this little nook at the top of our narrow staircase. We lived in a tiny duplex and I would sit right next to her while she worked – just grateful that she was home with us for once. She would write a tithing check first and put it on the corner of the desk and then work on paying the rest of the bills. There was never enough to cover them and she would always say, “we’re in the hole again” which was never a surprise to us.

Fear. Worry. Watching my mom bear it all, was a lot to handle.

And here I was, wondering if I was about to be in the same predicament.

I came to my master coach training call and was getting coaching from my peers and mentor/teacher, Brooke Castillo. Brooke asked me, “Why can’t you make as much money as your husband does?”

My answer, made me sick to my stomach as soon as it came out of my mouth. “Because I’m a woman.”

Yes. I said it. And I knew I believed it.

How could I think that? I didn’t want to own that thought.

And I decided that I didn’t want to believe that was true.

I knew that plenty of other women made a lot of money, so it had to be possible. And I knew that I wanted to believe I was capable too.

I didn’t adopt this new belief overnight, but I became relentless in my pursuit of believing that I could believe this at some point. I kept pushing the limit of what I believed was possible. I knew that even though I didn’t believe entirely today, I would believe a little more than yesterday.

What do you believe about your ability to make money?

Are you happy with that belief?

If not, are you willing to decide to believe something different?

What you believe is what you will create. Believe something awesome, okay?

You’re amazing.

Have a beautiful weekend- you deserve it.

escape

Lately I’ve been wanting to escape being a mom.

Like literally thinking about fleeing the country and never looking back.

It seems like such a selfish and shameful thought. A thought I didn’t want to say out loud, but I did it anyway. And when I said it out loud I felt so much relief.

The only reason I feel this way – is because I care so much about them. And I want to do a good job. I create pressure. I don’t believe I’m measuring up. And… I want to flee the country.

Sometimes my clients feel this way too… and they feel guilty about it.

They think they shouldn’t want to escape. They think they should be a better mom.

They have a book of rules about what being a good mom and a good person looks like, and there is no room for being human or having thoughts that don’t seem “good” and “positive.”

I think the rule book is wrong.

Being an amazing mom includes having all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

Loving your kids means feeling negative emotions too.

And being the perfect mom for your kids, means being you with all of your humanness – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the deal and it’s exactly as it should be.

Be amazing today. Have compassion when you’re feeling burned out. Trust that you’re doing better than you think. And please take an extra break for me, will you?

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

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35 years ago

This mug pictured here was a gift from my mom on Valentine’s day when I was 5. I woke up to this mug full of candy, but my mom was already gone… at work before the sun was up.

I’m pretty sure she worried she wasn’t doing enough as a mom. As a single mom she was stretched thin, worn out, and worried about her kids. Just like you and me – I’m guessing she worried about failing as a mom.

Yesterday, 35 years later, I was drinking from it – still feeling of her love and thoughtfulness. Grateful for the person she was, not just what she did. Grateful for her unconditional love, even though sometimes she was short on patience or just didn’t have extra time to spend with me.

Her presence in my life has been an unbelievable foundation for me, and continues to be even now that she has been gone for almost 2 decades.

I know you wonder sometimes if you’re doing enough. You worry how your kids will turn out. You’re often riddled with worry and guilt.

And today I want to suggest that you stop.
For just a minute.
Stop and breathe.

Love your kids.
Be kind to yourself so they will know how to be kind to themselves too.
Give yourself a break.
Take a minute to enjoy.
Just be in their life. That’s all they need.

Have an amazing weekend, you deserve it!