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teen trouble

I love my teenagers. And all the teenagers that come and go at my house.

A lot of people don’t feel that way about teens, I know.

It’s hard when they do all the teenager things we don’t think they should be doing.

Really hard.

But the only thing that gets in the way of love (and loving teenagers) is fear.
Fear is always what keeps us from love.

Do you feel afraid that your teen is going to make huge mistakes?
Do you worry that you haven’t done enough to protect them?
Or that you’re not doing enough now?

This fear and worry drives us to tighten the reigns too tight and listen to every fearful thought our brain is offering us.

The truth is, they will make mistakes.

You can’t really protect them from life.

And maybe you can always do more… but perhaps you’re not supposed to.

Let’s love our kids when they lie and when they break the rules and when they get in big trouble.

Let’s love ourselves by offering ourselves grace (after all we are trying to figure this out).

Walk that line between rules and freedom and do it all with love. Love is more powerful than any of us realize.

Have an amazing Friday – you deserve it.

escape

Lately I’ve been wanting to escape being a mom.

Like literally thinking about fleeing the country and never looking back.

It seems like such a selfish and shameful thought. A thought I didn’t want to say out loud, but I did it anyway. And when I said it out loud I felt so much relief.

The only reason I feel this way – is because I care so much about them. And I want to do a good job. I create pressure. I don’t believe I’m measuring up. And… I want to flee the country.

Sometimes my clients feel this way too… and they feel guilty about it.

They think they shouldn’t want to escape. They think they should be a better mom.

They have a book of rules about what being a good mom and a good person looks like, and there is no room for being human or having thoughts that don’t seem “good” and “positive.”

I think the rule book is wrong.

Being an amazing mom includes having all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

Loving your kids means feeling negative emotions too.

And being the perfect mom for your kids, means being you with all of your humanness – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the deal and it’s exactly as it should be.

Be amazing today. Have compassion when you’re feeling burned out. Trust that you’re doing better than you think. And please take an extra break for me, will you?

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

Holiday Jealousy

Christina worries that her kids have more fun with their dad and his new girlfriend over the holidays than they do with her.

It’s really hard for her.

It’s so hard for her that she begins to overextend herself and overspend her budget… to try to win them over.

When they are with their dad, she feels terrible.

She wishes she didn’t feel so jealous, resentful, and inadequate.

The reason she feels that way is that she is making the good relationship with their dad, mean something about their relationship with her.

She thinks if one relationship is amazing, the other one can’t be.

It’s as if there is a relationship budget – only so much happiness and connection to go around.

The truth is that the relationship they have with him, has nothing to do with the relationship they have with her.

They can love him, and they can love her. They can have fun with his girlfriend, and it means absolutely nothing about how her kids feel about her.

And the same is true for you…

If you want to hear more about this topic – CLICK HERE to sign up for my free webinar on Holiday Success for Single Moms. I address 3 main issues that single moms face over the holidays (and how to solve them). It’s totally worth carving out 30 minutes to join me. I’ll even answer your questions live.

Can’t wait to see you then!

Until then, have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

-Molly Claire

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he was furious

My son was furious with me this week.

He wanted to do something and I said no.

I didn’t think it was in his best interest at all.

I say yes most of the time – whenever I can.

But this time, it was a no.

He threw a teenage tantrum. He said mean things to me. He was unreasonable and pushing every last limit in the way he was behaving.

And I decided it was okay. I held the line. I drew some personal boundaries for myself and let him freak out in the way he wanted to, as long as it didn’t cross into my space.

Sometimes your kids don’t like what you have to say, and maybe that’s okay.

They can think and feel a lot of negative things about you, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

You can stay peaceful, even when they aren’t.

Give it a try.

Have a great day -one thought at a time!

let’s talk

This week I spoke with Carrie on the phone.

She is recently divorced and ready to have a fresh start.

The problem is… she doesn’t know where to begin.

She defined her life as being a wife and a mom for so long. Her identity was one in the same with family life.

Since getting divorced she has begun to see herself as an individual, and it’s kind of fun.

At the same time, she feels a little lost at what happens next in her life.

It’s like all of the limits that were there, are now gone. She gets to make up new rules, come up with new ideas, and decide what she wants her life to look like.

If you want to join me, Carrie and other women creating a fresh start in 2019 – CLICK HERE to talk with me.

And for today, just start to think – if the old rules no longer apply…

What do you want your life to look like?
Who do you want to be?
How do you want to feel about yourself?
What do you want to believe is possible?

Now’s the time. Start fresh. Create your life.

Have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

-Molly Claire