Posts

escape

Lately I’ve been wanting to escape being a mom.

Like literally thinking about fleeing the country and never looking back.

It seems like such a selfish and shameful thought. A thought I didn’t want to say out loud, but I did it anyway. And when I said it out loud I felt so much relief.

The only reason I feel this way – is because I care so much about them. And I want to do a good job. I create pressure. I don’t believe I’m measuring up. And… I want to flee the country.

Sometimes my clients feel this way too… and they feel guilty about it.

They think they shouldn’t want to escape. They think they should be a better mom.

They have a book of rules about what being a good mom and a good person looks like, and there is no room for being human or having thoughts that don’t seem “good” and “positive.”

I think the rule book is wrong.

Being an amazing mom includes having all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

Loving your kids means feeling negative emotions too.

And being the perfect mom for your kids, means being you with all of your humanness – the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of the deal and it’s exactly as it should be.

Be amazing today. Have compassion when you’re feeling burned out. Trust that you’re doing better than you think. And please take an extra break for me, will you?

Have an amazing day – one thought at a time!

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35 years ago

This mug pictured here was a gift from my mom on Valentine’s day when I was 5. I woke up to this mug full of candy, but my mom was already gone… at work before the sun was up.

I’m pretty sure she worried she wasn’t doing enough as a mom. As a single mom she was stretched thin, worn out, and worried about her kids. Just like you and me – I’m guessing she worried about failing as a mom.

Yesterday, 35 years later, I was drinking from it – still feeling of her love and thoughtfulness. Grateful for the person she was, not just what she did. Grateful for her unconditional love, even though sometimes she was short on patience or just didn’t have extra time to spend with me.

Her presence in my life has been an unbelievable foundation for me, and continues to be even now that she has been gone for almost 2 decades.

I know you wonder sometimes if you’re doing enough. You worry how your kids will turn out. You’re often riddled with worry and guilt.

And today I want to suggest that you stop.
For just a minute.
Stop and breathe.

Love your kids.
Be kind to yourself so they will know how to be kind to themselves too.
Give yourself a break.
Take a minute to enjoy.
Just be in their life. That’s all they need.

Have an amazing weekend, you deserve it!

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Holiday Emotions

This week on the podcast I talked about the strong emotions we feel over the holidays.

Sadness, anxiety, jealousy, worry… just to name a few.

My client Janet is avoiding holiday parties because it’s her first Christmas after divorce. It seems too painful to go, when she anticipates such strong emotions are sure to come up.

The only thing Janet is avoiding – is an emotion.

Think about that.

An emotion. A feeling in her body. A strong feeling… that is really scary to her.

But in truth – she can handle any emotion that comes her way.

We go to great lengths to avoid feelings because we think we can’t handle them. But we always can.

What emotion are you avoiding? What if you can allow that feeling? What if you can cry sometimes without shoving it down? What if you no longer have to fear the way you’ll feel?

What would you do then?…

Think about it.

Click to learn more about How to Handle your Emotions like a Boss on the podcast.

Have a beautiful weekend and an amazing Christmas– you deserve it!

-Molly Claire

Holiday Jealousy

Christina worries that her kids have more fun with their dad and his new girlfriend over the holidays than they do with her.

It’s really hard for her.

It’s so hard for her that she begins to overextend herself and overspend her budget… to try to win them over.

When they are with their dad, she feels terrible.

She wishes she didn’t feel so jealous, resentful, and inadequate.

The reason she feels that way is that she is making the good relationship with their dad, mean something about their relationship with her.

She thinks if one relationship is amazing, the other one can’t be.

It’s as if there is a relationship budget – only so much happiness and connection to go around.

The truth is that the relationship they have with him, has nothing to do with the relationship they have with her.

They can love him, and they can love her. They can have fun with his girlfriend, and it means absolutely nothing about how her kids feel about her.

And the same is true for you…

If you want to hear more about this topic – CLICK HERE to sign up for my free webinar on Holiday Success for Single Moms. I address 3 main issues that single moms face over the holidays (and how to solve them). It’s totally worth carving out 30 minutes to join me. I’ll even answer your questions live.

Can’t wait to see you then!

Until then, have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

-Molly Claire

Thanks to you

Thank you so much for all you do every day.

Thanks for making sure everyone is up for school.

Fed. Dressed. Loved. Disciplined.

Thanks for doing it, even when you don’t feel like it.

Thanks for doing it, even when you’ve lost your temper and you feel like quitting.

Thanks for picking yourself back up, when you’re worried you’re failing.

Your kids might thank you one day, but don’t hold your breath.

Thank yourself. Feel grateful for who you are and all you do.

And accept this big thanks from me.

You’re doing great things every day – keep at it.

Have an amazing day, one thought at a time!

– Molly Claire