Posts

Single Mom

Yesterday my son told me I’m resilient.

“Really?” I asked.

I don’t feel very resilient.

I often feel like a wimp.

And I get emotional about things.

And I feel like I don’t always handle life very well.

Can you relate?

He told me that’s not true. He said I’m tough and resilient.

And you know what, he’s right.

I’m resilient and so are you.

Just because we don’t feel on top of life all of the time – doesn’t mean we aren’t handling it really well.

My marriage, my divorce, and my single mom phase helped me grow into a stronger person.

Listen up – you’re pretty tough. You are resilient. You are strong.

You are nothing short of amazing.

Have a beautiful weekend – you deserve it!

Deep Regret

Do you ever feel deep regret about your past marriage?

Regret about what you did or didn’t do?

Regret about not being able to make it work?

Regret about a million and one things and the fear that it’s impacted your kids?

I totally get it.

Last week I had some of that deep regret come to the surface again. I’ve been worried about my kids for so many reasons. And I fear that their problems are all my fault.

If only I would have. If only I could have. If only I could go back in time 10 years, 15 years or 20 years and do that one thing different. It felt so heavy.

I know you feel this way too sometimes.

I’m still working to reconcile some of my regret and I’m allowing myself plenty of space to do it.

In the meantime, I’m reminding myself of a few things.

In every moment along the way, most of us do the best we can with where we are.

Sometimes our best, doesn’t look that great – and that’s okay.

My kid’s ability to achieve success and happiness in life is dependent on them – not me.

Our human weaknesses are supposed to be there, they are not a mistake.

I hope you can see the best in yourself in the past, and the best in yourself today.

I hope you can see the best in your future too.

Have a beautiful weekend- you deserve it!

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teen trouble

I love my teenagers. And all the teenagers that come and go at my house.

A lot of people don’t feel that way about teens, I know.

It’s hard when they do all the teenager things we don’t think they should be doing.

Really hard.

But the only thing that gets in the way of love (and loving teenagers) is fear.
Fear is always what keeps us from love.

Do you feel afraid that your teen is going to make huge mistakes?
Do you worry that you haven’t done enough to protect them?
Or that you’re not doing enough now?

This fear and worry drives us to tighten the reigns too tight and listen to every fearful thought our brain is offering us.

The truth is, they will make mistakes.

You can’t really protect them from life.

And maybe you can always do more… but perhaps you’re not supposed to.

Let’s love our kids when they lie and when they break the rules and when they get in big trouble.

Let’s love ourselves by offering ourselves grace (after all we are trying to figure this out).

Walk that line between rules and freedom and do it all with love. Love is more powerful than any of us realize.

Have an amazing Friday – you deserve it.

What if you couldn’t?

Christina is a single mom who can’t help but think she failed in her marriage.

Why else would her husband cheat if there wasn’t something wrong with her?

She knows what she would tell someone else, but when it comes to her – she blames herself.

I challenged Christina and I’m going to challenge you too.

“Christina – what if you weren’t allowed to think there was something wrong with you? What if it just wasn’t an option at all. What then?”

When Christina takes away that option – so many others appear. She is able to invite in other ideas that are so much truer and give her a better understanding.

What’s your thought that you keep going back to? What’s the belief that keeps you stuck, frustrated or feeling sad? What if you weren’t allowed to think it. What if it were deleted, unavailable – totally out of reach.

What might you think instead?

Give it a try.

Have an amazing weekend – you deserve it!

Stuck

This week I spoke with Janet about how stuck she feels in her life. It seems that her life is at the mercy of her ex-husband, and the courts, and everything outside of her.

Honestly, she feels a little hopeless.

As I listened to Janet it was so clear to me that she’s feeling totally powerless to her circumstances. It seems to her that the only way she can be okay is if things go a certain way. And for things to go a certain way, she has to control what everyone else does.

No wonder she’s feeling so hopeless. Can you relate?

Whatever is happening that’s outside of your control, doesn’t get to determine how your life turns out. It doesn’t determine how you feel and it certainly doesn’t determine what’s possible for you.

YOU CREATE YOUR LIFE. I promise you that.

What if that’s really true? What if you determine your life no matter what? What’s possible then?

Think about it.

Have an amazing weekend – one thought at a time!